life, love & laundry
Nursing your adopted baby – the hidden benefits
I know I’ve talked about our breastfeeding story before so I won’t go into it all again but as time has passed, I have often wondered how Addy will look back on our nursing relationship. She got essentially no nutritive value out of it and some people I’ve talked to over the years wondered why I would bother without the milk. Having nursed for the previous decade, I knew there was far more to nursing than milk alone. I just hoped that I would be able to sustain a nursing relationship long enough for some of the other benefits to be obtained.
It’s been a year since Addy nursed. She doesn’t really talk much about the past so I’ve wondered what she remembers, if anything. While it was special to ME, was it also special to HER? Recently, out of the blue, she’s started talking about nursing. On the morning of her Adoption Anniversary I asked her what was special about that day and although her normal answer would be something about Vietnam, this time her response was “It was the first time you nursed me!”.
On her Adoption anniversary she asked if she, too, could blow out a candle like Dalton did for his birthday. Of course we lit up her cupcake and told her to make a wish. She was so cute with her wishes, mumbling quietly to herself for quite awhile before finally, satisfied, blowing out her candle.
When I asked her what her wish was, she said “I wished I was a baby again.”. I asked her why and she said “Because I loved being a baby!” Of course I had to ask, then, what she loved about being a baby and her answer? The best thing about being a baby is nursing.”.
Sweet girl. I asked her what the worst thing is about being a baby and she thought for a minute and declared “Not being able to eat hard foods when you don’t have any teeth.”. I thought this was pretty deep :) She might be right on both accounts!
I look back as time goes on and I have more and more gratitude toward our nursing relationship becuase honestly it was probably the first relationship was developed. I have spoken about regrets that I have about how I parented Addy and this is the one thing I can definitively say I did right. Hearing her talk about it now makes that all the more clear. I look back and wonder how much more difficult bonding would have been and how much longer it would have taken for Addy to come out of her shell and really connect with me without that experience. Now I can see that it was only when we were finally really bonded that she weaned.
3 Comments
Leave a comment
Recent Posts
wow, Nicki that is beautiful, I really regret that I wasn’t able to nurse Lion-boy…
[Reply]
I wanted so much to nurse R. Now I wish I’d tried harder – I gave up because I thought she was too old (7.5 months) and she looked at me like I was crazy when I tried. But I held her a ton, especially for feedings, to try to simulate that experience. Having nursed my first two, I know how special that time is.
It’s SO sweet that Addy is talking about it. Clearly it represents something very special to her too.
[Reply]
Beautiful! I loved reading about her memories of nursing :)
[Reply]