Comments on: Coercing an expectant mom to relinquish in 12 easy steps

By: Christina

Christina — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:20:57 +0000

Catching up on my blogreading, so I’m behind on this one and not reading all 26 comments… But Dang, I had very little respect for Dr. Phil before but now? Make that zilch. Good grief!! I am extremely pro-adoption (especially when we’re talking about a young-ish teenage girl who is not prepared to parent) but holy cow! I mean, right off the bat he’s got things wrong. If my daughter came to me and said she was pregnant, one of the choices I would offer her is for ME to HELP her – good grief, I’m her mother and I WANT to help – that would not be a burden!!! That just makes me so sad that Dr. Phil put that wedge between Brittany and her parents like that. Making a 16 year old feel like a burden? Awful, just awful.

I think it’s great how you broke down all the points where he tried to (and apparently succeeded) influence her … I’d bet 98% of the people watching didn’t pick up on most of those, but you are so right at the effect his tactics (which are used by too many adults in/out of the adoption world) have.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 19:37:10 +0000

I can’t stand Dr. Phil…but this is enraging in so many ways. I agree that you should send him your post. I also can’t believe this is how the show went down when the mother was willing to support her daughter in raising the child. Unbelievable. Thank you for writing it up.

By: Stacy

Stacy — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 19:10:18 +0000

Oh ugh. I probably have this on my TiVo, I record him but rarely watch anymore. Definitely too many places to go “ugh” through your synopsis to even go through point-by-point. Though I’ll say that having her meet the potenial adoptive mom at the hospital, how she’d had 5 failed placements, etc. made me want to vomit. It is not a baby or emom’s job to make our life “complete” through adoption. It is not one emom’s burden to carry that the amom had five failed placements. As far as I’m concerned, that is not something an emom should have any inkling about – way, way too much pressure and manipulation. Sounds like this was such a mess all-around and Dr. Phil obviously had an agenda. It frustrates me, I think domestic adoption is so misunderstood anyway and his show did nothing to shed a better light on it.

I’m so grateful I had a couple of hours to talk to Delaney’s birthmom the night she was born. And as it worked out, we had no agency person there because of timing and such which made me very nervous, but in the end I think was actually a very good thing. I NEVER had any doubt about her intentions and reasons to place and I am so glad for that.

Your post brings up SO MANY thoughts in my head of how that was handled tied to my views thanks to my own experience, but I don’t want to write a comment as long as your post! I have seen Dr. Phil tackle other similar topics before and he really doesn’t get it. It frustrates me because I don’t think he’s ALWAYS wrong in his opinions and advice, but this is one area where I definitely don’t see eye-to-eye with him, not even close.

I really do think you should email him about this – yeah, he might not care, but sometimes he does do follow-up shows including people who really gave him hell, and it would be interesting to see him bring on some better, more true-to-life, educational views on the topic.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:27:05 +0000

@mama2roo, You can link to it, you can copy it and send it in as your own, I’m easy!! I am not going to because I’m too cynical to believe he would care or change. As far as I’m aware, this is not the first time he’s done this same scheme with pregnant teens. And I know last time he got a lot of push back. Clearly it did not matter. Ratings! yay! But honestly you are a better person than I if you make the time to push back.

By: mama2roo

mama2roo — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:12:01 +0000

wow. Really? wow.

I found you thru my blog reader…this is the first post I read and if this went down the way you said it did (which I don’t doubt at all,) then I’m hoping you send this very post to Dr. Phil to read (like he would…).

and not even on tv, but in the real world, there are so many mental health professionals who are so skilled, but still have similar mindsets about adoption and give similar counseling to pregnant mothers.

I may go write a letter to Dr. Phil myself. Can I link to this on my blog?

By: Nicki

Nicki — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:56:09 +0000

good question – I do wonder what her agenda was? Maybe fame? Free stuff? It would be really awful if her agenda was to get help raising her baby, huh?

You are dead right on that formula. It wasn’t even a surprise when she announced that she was placing. It wouldn’t be much of a show if Phil didn’t come out on top huh?

By: margaret

margaret — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:37:11 +0000

Wow, makes me glad I don’t have a TV (although, I have seen Dr. Phil once or twice). These “help” shows seem pretty formulaic: the ‘helper’ has an agenda that usually doesn’t match the agenda of the helpee, so that there can be drama, conflict, and ultimately the climax of the oh-so-wise ‘helper’ convincing the helpee to follow the original agenda. What I always wonder is why the ‘helpee’ agrees to go on the show. What do you think Brittney’s agenda was?

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:39:12 +0000

I’ve only seen his show 2 or 3 times – I can’t stand him – he’s no more than a greedy quack selling fix-it-quick BS to Americans who somehow seem to buy into it.

Please send this to the show!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:01:49 +0000

I missed the show but this synopsis really spelled it out. I don’t like this one bit.

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:10:34 +0000

I detest Dr. Phil. This doesn’t surprise me in the least. It makes me SICK, but it doesn’t even shock me. I can’t even stomach the sound of his voice, so I doubt I’ll watch. Your summary pretty much says it all. I agree with the person above who said that it’s probably a lot of adoptive parents who wouldn’t see the problem. Sad, sad, sad.

BTW, sort of off topic, but when I was in college, one of the local radio station morning show guys were always bagging on Dr. Phil. One of them could totally do his voice and would say the stupidest things that made NO sense, like, “You can’t clean out the fridge when there’s an ocelot in the front yard.” It was funny b/c it was pretty much representative of his logic…there is NONE.